Honoring Grief: Finding Strength in the Midst of Sorrow
In the tapestry of life, grief is an inevitable thread, woven into the very fabric of our existence. It is a universal experience that touches every soul, yet it remains one of the most profound and challenging aspects of the human journey. As we stand together during National Grief Awareness Week, we acknowledge the complexities of loss and the profound impact it has on our lives. Grief is an emotional terrain that requires navigation, and this week, we embark on a collective journey to illuminate the pathways through grief, seeking solace in shared stories and discovering the resilience that can emerge from the darkest of shadows.
There is a common misconception that grief only raises its head at the loss of a loved one. However, grief takes many forms, and it is important to allow yourself to feel it no matter the cause. Some instances where you may experience grief include:
Loss of a loved one
Loss of a pet
Loss of a job
Empty nest
Divorce / loss of relationship
Miscarriage
Loss of a friendship
Life-changing diagnoses
The why of grief is not so narrow. No matter the reason, if you find yourself struggling with grief, it is important to follow steps to take care of yourself and heal. Grief can often be difficult to notice if the cause is not so obvious. A few of the most common symptoms of grief include sadness, shock, numbness, denial, anger, guilt, and helplessness, forgetfulness, poor concentration, and confusion. Grief can also produce physical symptoms, such as fatigue, digestive discomfort, shortness of breath, headaches, nausea, and pain.
One of life’s most difficult processes is dealing with grief. Grief does not follow a linear path and it can often feel like you’re getting worse, not better. And if you are not grieving over the death of a loved one, it can be easy to write your pain off as insignificant. No matter why you’re grieving, it’s important to not belittle yourself or dismiss your pain. Whatever the cause, there are healthy ways to cope with grief and allow yourself to heal and come to terms with your loss.
Give yourself permission to feel
There is a misconception that, by ignoring your grief, it will go away faster. You may try to suppress your grief, but you cannot ignore it forever. If you don’t allow yourself to feel it, it will only prolong the healing process. It is important to face your grief and all the feelings it brings with it. Ignoring it can also lead to later complications in your mental health, such as depression and anxiety. You must identify your need to grieve and let it run its natural course. It will hurt, but you will feel better at the end of it.
Talk to somebody
Nobody should have to face this beast alone. Whether it is a loved one, a therapist, a friend, etc. it is important to find somebody you can talk to. Especially at the beginning of the grieving process, talking through it with somebody can be both clarifying and cathartic. Talking through it can help you acknowledge that it really happened, instead of allowing your brain to deny the truth of the situation. The sooner you can acknowledge your grief, the easier the process will be.
Write a letter to your loss
No matter the cause of your grief, it can be beneficial to write a letter to it. Whether this means writing a letter to a deceased loved one, a lost friend, an unborn child, or a lost job, writing to it is a cathartic release, a way to spill your sadness and loss on paper. SImilar to talking with somebody, writing about it can help you process what happened and share your feelings about the loss in a safe, private environment.
Framework to process your grief
BetterUp has a three-step framework to help process your grief. No matter where you are in the grieving journey, this framework can help you identify what happened and visualize how you will move forward.
Step 1: Describe your loss. What did you lose? What did you love about what you lost? What has the loss lead to?
Step 2: Explore what’s different now. Who are you now? What is different? What are you holding on to?
Step 3: Envision your future. What is important to you now? How can you honor and remember your loss?
Click here for more detail on this three-step process.
Be patient with yourself
Grief is an exhausting and slow process. It cannot be rushed or put on the backburner - you must feel it in order to heal. Take comfort in knowing that grief is a normal process that we all experience, and that you will grow around it with time. Grief is also not linear - it can rear its ugly head at birthdays or holidays or when you are going about your day on a Tuesday afternoon, and it can be easy to think that you are getting worse, not better. But know that any movement you make is forward movement. Grief does not follow a line - it will circle back on itself, and that is okay.
Grief is not a linear journey; it's a complex dance that requires patience, self-compassion, and the steady companionship of others. Let us be beacons of support for those navigating the labyrinth of loss, fostering an environment where healing is not only encouraged but embraced. In the aftermath of grief, there is not only remembrance but also renewal. National Grief Awareness Week is a poignant reminder that, in acknowledging our collective pain, we discover the strength to heal. Healing is a nuanced process—one that requires patience, self-compassion, and the understanding that each journey is unique.
Ah, our brilliant days / shine like eternal stars,
They glow past as consolation / for future sorrow.
Don’t cry because it’s over! / Smile because they have been!
And if the days get cloudier, / Our stars redeem!
Ludwig Jacobowski
