Holiday Harmony: Thanksgiving Self Care
As we gather around tables laden with turkey, stuffing, and the warmth of loved ones, the holiday season's festivities often bring joy and celebration. However, amidst the cheerful clinking of glasses and the aroma of a Thanksgiving feast, it’s crucial to acknowledge the strain on our mental well being that this season can cause.
There are a multitude of reasons why stress and anxiety often rear their heads during the holiday season. For many, gathering around the table for Thanksgiving means returning to a home they’ve outgrown, spending time with people they don’t particularly get along with, or pretending to be somebody you’re not. For others, perhaps the stress comes from hosting; cooking a feast for many and working yourself to the ground to try to make everything perfect. And still for others, perhaps it comes from spending the holiday season alone.
No matter the reason, there is no denying that stress, anxiety, and mental health concerns often run rampant during Thanksgiving. According to the American Psychological Association, 38% of people surveyed said their stress increased during the holiday season; the National Alliance on Mental Illness recorded that 64% of individuals living with a mental illness felt that their conditions worsened around the holidays.
But you don’t have to give up this holiday season in order to preserve your mental health. We’ve compiled a list of coping mechanisms to practice to take care of yourself and take full advantage of this holiday season.
Don’t Be Afraid to Say No
For many, gathering around the family table can include being bombarded with questions. Every family has a nosy aunt or grandfather or cousin, those who press about your life: Are you seeing anybody? Have you gotten a better job? When are you going to settle down and have children? It’s important to remember that you are not obligated to indulge in these prying questions. Nobody is entitled to information you do not want to give, and you’re allowed to protect your own privacy.
Some helpful phrases to use when you don’t want to answer these invasive questions include:
I’m not comfortable talking about this.
I hope you’ll respect my privacy.
No, I will not talk about that.
At the end of the day, “No” is a complete sentence. Don’t be afraid to use it.
Take Breaks
Anybody can agree that family and large social gatherings can be exhausting, no matter how good or bad your relationship may be. To make matters worse, perhaps returning to a home you’ve outgrown may lead to a regression, stirring up memories that build stress and anxiety inside you. No matter the case, it is important to take breaks when needed and check in with yourself. Whether you need a social break to recharge, or you need to step away from your grandmother who still treats you like the kid you no longer are, finding a safe, quiet place to get away from for a few minutes is crucial. Some good ideas include going to the bathroom to breathe for five minutes, going for a short walk alone, or stepping into a quiet room to meditate. Alone time is crucial during this season that can be incredibly overwhelming for many. Take time for yourself; your grandmother can wait.
It can also be helpful to carry objects that will help you relax, such as calming essential oils, noise-canceling headphones, or a sentimental object that brings you joy.
Focus On What’s In Your Control
Thanksgiving, for many, can be a day of pure chaos. Children may be running around the house, the kitchen is in full swing, the turkey came out burnt, and Aunt Mildred is sharing her political views after one too many glasses of wine. Basically - not everything is going to go according to plan. It’s crucial that you focus on the things you can control. You can control how you respond to stressful situations - if you get into an ugly argument with Aunt Mildred or simply replace her wine with a glass of water. If a situation becomes overwhelming, remember that you can - and should - step away for a moment. And remember to take deep breaths before you respond.
Establish Boundaries
Before you are thrown into these gatherings, it’s important to establish your own boundaries. Your in-laws may want you to spend Thanksgiving with them when you wanted to spend it with your parents. Perhaps your cousin will ask you to babysit their children while they go Black Friday shopping. Maybe your grandmother is asking when you’re going to have a baby. No matter what boundaries you feel the need to establish, it’s important to identify them beforehand. When you are caught in the moment and put on the spot, it can be difficult to say no. Setting these ground rules can make it easier to walk into situations and handle them with confidence.
As we navigate the complexities of the holiday season, remember to prioritize yourself and your own well-being. Whether you found solace in moments of solitude, forged connections with chosen family, or faced the challenges of strained relationships, taking care of yourself and your mental health will make navigating Thanksgiving less stressful. These lessons are also not only confined to a certain date on a calendar - they are integral to your mental health year-round. As the holiday hustle comes and goes, remember to extend kindness to yourself and others throughout the coming season.
Happy Thanksgiving. May your holidays be perfectly imperfect.